There is a saying we all learn as early as nursery school: "treat others as you would like to be treated."

Though this expression might seem most fitting to children who are just learning how to make positive connections with their friends, it is still a phrase to live by as adults especially for those who are currently experiencing a breakup of their marriage and wish for a good divorce.

When the spouse who initiates the divorce files the Petition for Divorce forms with the court, he or she will then serve the Summons for Divorce document on his or her spouse. Once the service of Summons has taken place, certain court-assigned restraining orders automatically take effect and will stay in place until after the Judgment has been signed off in court, and the divorce is final.

Both parties are instructed to fully cooperate with these divorce orders, or else the spouse who violates them risks being held in contempt of divorce court with the possibility of fines, jail time, or both, as punishment.

As the divorce Summons demands, the spouses are expected to comply by not taking any minor children of theirs out of the state without written permission of the other spouse or by order of the court; neither party is permitted to borrow, transfer, or sell any community property or separate property except for the purpose of normal business; and both parties must promise to notify the other at least five days in advance about any extra divorce costs related to the proceeding.

So then what duties to I have to my spouse after divorce? In a nutshell, each spouse retains the obligation to be honest and informative to one another so as to lessen the chance of conflict.

And in divorce cases that involve minor children, it is very important that each parent continually update the other about the children's events and activities; a spouse must tell the other parent if there is a change in employment status, residential address, children's school, or some other significant alteration that also affects the children.

For the safety of the minor children, each party is also responsible for informing the other party if he or she has met someone else who will become a significant adult figure in the children's lives.

Finally, the parties must make the best effort possible to keep the peace between them, if for no other reason than the sake of the minor children.